i suppose that everybody has a hard lovestory once in their life. so was it worth it? i dont know now. 

 just think that my present job is more important to me than everything, including photo

 talent, diligence, fanatism is nothing when you can't walking long and hold a camera stably enough, o-ho-ho

сижу дома, ничего не делаю, смотрю кино и читаю, не фотографирую, проваливаюсь в депрессию и вытаскиваю себя из неё, и скучно и грустно, после прогулки чувствую себя так, словно таскала мешки с мукой, но все равно, я живу, я здорова, и скоро восстановлюсь. 

 back home from hospital, where i spend 2 weeks and have an operation. my mind are so empty

 if a doctors said to me now that i will live no longer but 6 months, i know that i will be living that 6 months as i living now. don't do anything great, but maybe in my life will be more pleashure. sad but true. 

 when the past was so bright, present can't be brighter. i forget about it. 

 2 month, my enthusiasm slow down